


death the free advice giver!!

by aoi_akiku



Series: crossover madness [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Master of Death, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7059538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoi_akiku/pseuds/aoi_akiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A helpful stranger in a bar introduce a drunk England to horrors of paperwork.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well this was a idea that came in the middle of the night. And like my other works I also type this on my phone so mistakes will happen. 
> 
> Happy reading.

Today was a random night at random  city at America. Everyone was busy doing  something. Even it was nothing.

The streets were mostly clear at this time of night. but still some peoples are outside. Like thouse overwork salaryman who were desperate for some alcohol in their system before going home to their  angry wife/lonesome/ pet dog ,cat ,turtle, tree etc.

Of course if you look closer you could see you could see one or two Goth teen lureing around  in the most shadowy places in the street doing  who knows what.

And don't forget the occasional  punk teens with spray painting equipment , kissing couple , wondering drunks, homeless people, pizza delivery man etc.

But no one noticed a dark figure with glowing green eyes existing from the dark place between two building and mixed into the non-existing  crowd..

 

__

 

After a rather useless world meeting a few nations decided to go to a bar and get drank and try to forget today ever happened . So here they are doing just that.

The nations decided to go wild and do whatever the hell they want and deal with the afterwords tomorrow, so now no one was really careing that dranken Prussia is dancing in top of a table almost naked with only his underware and glitter in his body.

Drunk France is groping and hitting  on every two leged being with his annoying 'honhon'. male or female it didn't matter to him.

Canada on the other hand become opposite if his  personality . Quite like .. well... Drunk 2p!Canada actualy ... except the murderus part.

Drunk China is clinging into not_really_drunk_but_highly_annoyed Russia who was 'kolkolkol' ing at America who was annoying everyone greatly. 

On other side of the bar a drunk England in his sexy Butler outfit telling his life story to a stranger.

"A-And t-then he-he left me ." England sobed out clinging into the stranger almost sitting in top of him.

"There there it's alright.."the stranger said patting him in on his back.

By the sound of stranger's voice the stranger also was drank.

"Would you like to here my sad story too ?" Asked the stranger.

After a one last sob England lookd at the strangers eyes and gave a nod.

With a far away look stranger startd to tell his story.

"Once up on a time when I was a teenager I accidently collected three hidden items and became boss of some minions. But unfortunately  for me those minions not quite ... how would I put these.... minion like.  They like to boss me around even I was the boss . They ware evil , bastards and assholes  who love to make my life living hell." Said the stranger as his green eyes waterd a bit.

his voice waved as he said " they would give me paperwork !!  Mountains of paperwork.. that would take  me ages to finish. I still had  thirty shakes of paperwork to finish . I did try to do  them but after fourteenth pile of it I  just take it anymore".he looked like someone had said all the tea in England (not the personalficason) vanished.

the stranger looks like he was about to cry.  But suddenly he looked  brave and with a determined voice he said " so I escaped and I had no intend to  be found today." Said the  stranger With such a voice england can see Fire in his green  eyes and animeted waves in  the background.  Just like Japan's anime that  America love to  fource England to watch.

"Hey ! England right? do you remember how was your work like when America was your colony?"  Suddenly stranger asked England as he grabbed his shoulder and looked straight into his eyes.

Eyes big and bit of hazy from the drinks but  enough aware to remember tomorrow  England gave a shaky nod in confirmation.

"Do you remember how much extra work you had to do ! Haw much extra peperwork you had to do ! "  said the green eyed stranger  shaking England  slightly by his shoulder.

"B-but he was my little brother. I had to take care of him" said England with a shaky voice.

But inside his mind he did remember .how much work he had to do. He did remember the mountains of paperwork he had to do when he had colonys . America especially he always was the mischievous one, even when he was little.

but still ! If america was with him everithing. Whould have been alright.... right...... somehow he dought that 

"He was my little brother. I had to take care of him even if had to do double paperwork" muttered England somewhat brokenly.

"Oh really. What if America was still your colony . Hn?" Said the stranger one eyebrow rayzed.

"If America was still your colony do you know how much paperwork you had to do?"

England shaked his head in denial.

The Stranger sined and muttered something under his breath and started " well for start think when America was you colony how many state he had then ? Thirteen right. And how much paperwork you had to do then? "

"T-thirty thousand pile a year"

"Ok thirty thousand pile a year. Now America has fifty state . So now paperwork will be more then three times almost four times much paperwork"

Hearing that England paled .

"So it will be about....about.... um... let me think I'm not very good at maths ok! And being a little drunk didn't helping me any" Said the stranger as. he started counting on his fingers.

____

Meanwhile England is stuck in his own little paperwork filld nightmare.

_England was walking in a random street at london._

_sunddnly a_ _trap door opend  in a building beside him and something or someone dragged him inside._

_And then he was in a dark room with A light bulb hanging upwards him. Like a old fashion spy movie set.  
_

_He was sitting in a chair, his hands were free but everything else was bound to it with chains. So even if he wanted he can't break free.  
_

_Suddnly a shadowy figure  was in front of him. That was non other then  America._

_" ha ha ha England. Didn't you always  wanted me to became your colony again. Your  wish is granted" said America and then a evil  smark spread in his lips._

_And then the room became bright . and England can see millions and millions of  paperwork inside the  room.  
_

_" now you have to do it all" said America as he put a very large Pile of  paperwork put in front of him.._

_"NOOO!"_

"NOOO!"screamed England .

Evreyone in the room looked for the noice but when they noticed were the noice was coming from they go back to what was they doing . After all everyone know how the english nation was when drunk. 

____

Meanwhile the stranger was still counting on his fingers. His eyes were gazed his head was  crooked and his tongue was peeking out a little.

"You know what forget it ! It was bloody  fucking lot!" Said the stranger making some wide hand gesture.

"B-but" said England . And of course  he believed him I mean who wouldn't after  he had to face count less sleep less night doing  nothing but paperwork on the past whan he had colony's. He still has nightmares.he was just in  dental. Well.. at lest from admitting it. 

From the looks of it the stranger was stunned but quickly pick himself up and said" fine I know how to make you believe. You just have to imagine" said the stranger very close to his ear.

"Imagine"

"Imagine"

 _"_ _imagine"_

___________

_You still has america as your colony . You are happy. But suddnly reality hit you in the face  like a solid wall._

_Suddenly you didn't have time to take a holiday after all you had paperwork to do._

_Then you decided to skip the breakfast today.Really you have paperwork to do._

_Oh well so what today was Sunday .really the paperwork is important._

_So what. That today was to be your free day . After all this paperwork can't wait.  
_

_Well you do not need a full night sleep  to work properly. Paperwork is more important!_

_So was you didn't shower in a week . So what  you didn't eat. Or drink sence yesterday morning tea. So what their is dark circles under your eye from  lack of sleep. After all paperwork  is most important._

_Oh no! What is this another pile you have to finish  is quickly before He comes in.  
_

_Suddenly your office door opend and HE  comes in.  
_

_"My dear England did you finished your previous paperwork?" Said your dear colony. Smiling wormly  but his smile did nor reached his cold  blue eyes._

_You ware right as his worm smile turn icy.and his eyes become dark.  
_

_"You always wanted me as a colony again  right England? Well now you have me "  said America as he wad walking towards you._

_America was leaning on your desk towards you.  Now his face was milimetars away  from yours.  
_

_You are pale and shakeing from fright but he didn't noticed or cared . Probably the leter.  
_

_"Now England you have to do paperwork"  said America in your ear ._

_His icy smile turned sadistic as he said "all fifty of them"  
_

_He backed away and now was examineing  his nails. One of hand was on the desk as he  was casualy standing . But his eyes and his  frightening smile still in place.  
_

_"You want to know a funny thing England" said America as he make himself comfortable._

_You try to object but you know that it was not a question. And it wasn't.  
_

_"The funny thing is the paperwork you had  to do first time when I was a colony. Per a state  doubled almost Tripled. " said America with a  thoughtful  face that just screamd fake.._

_"Wonder how much paperwork you had to  do now. Lat's see. I have now fifty states instade of thirteen with triple paperwork .. so how much that makes it?" Said American as his fake thoughtful look  vanished and replaced with previous look._

_"I let you do the math " said American as  he pated you in the cheek and got out of the door._

_You can hear the sound of America locking the  door.  
_

_Now your all alone with Millions (and yes millions with a capital 'M') of piles of paperwork.  
_

_You think maybe you can escape. maybe this is your chance!!  
_

_But just when you about to open the  door you felt something on you ankles_

_It was a shackle ! That was bound to  the steel chain !!!_

_you were truely trap here bound to do  paperwork for eternity !  
_

_"NO"_

________

"NO!!!" Screamd England for second time the night.

And for the second time all the people  in the bar turn to him.

______

"W-What's wrong w-with England~" said a drunken voice.

"Who knows *hic*" said another drunken voice.

And they got back to drinking forgating the privious conversacion.

______

By the end of the imagination England was  ghostly pail eyes wide and shaking like a leaf.

"So now do you understand ?" Said the stranger.

A nod.

"So what do you say ?"

"I-I .... I am HAPPY!" Screamed England. Throwing his hands in the air .

_____

Other side of the room.

Prussia scereamd" I am awesome call me your awesomeness" same time .

A drunk and visible and more importantly angry Canada throwed a hokey stick at him. And screamed "stop you shouting my ear hurts".

And the hokey stick landed on Prussia's face which made him to land on a highly annoyed Russia who was sitting in a chair beside that table were Prussia was dancing.

....Well you can imagine what happened next.....

So no one heard England... this time.

_____

"W-why are you so happy" stranger sutterd out, who was taken back from sudden examination. 

England stop bounceing around and looked at the stranger with wild eyes and said

" he say why you're happy. Well I say I'm happy because I'm free! Form paperwork!!".

And Ran away like a crazy madman Leave a dumfounded stranger.

______

"Well at least someone knows the  horror of the paperwork" said the stranger with a deadpan voice.

"Yes . Yes your right master" said a voice beside him. That voice was coming from a boy who lookd like him exacaptvhe had black eyes and no scar.

"Ya your right death" said apparently death's master.

"By the way you had paperwork to finish master"

" I know. Can't I finished it later" Harry whinnd .

"Fine. Your too drunk to finish it anyway, but you have to do tomorrow."

"Yay! No paperwork"said Harry and ran away following England's example.

Now death had a deadpan look and said " childish much"

______________________________________________


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to disappoint you guys, but this is not a chapter. But I made a fan art for this series and I want you guys to see it.

[link to the fanart. ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8789242)

**Author's Note:**

> That's it folks. That's all you can get from this story..  
> I know I know there's not much plot in it . But that's all you can get from me ..... for now ...... at lest for this story.  
> But I have to say I don't like the ending much so I might change it in future ... or I might not .seriesly you never can tell..
> 
> So till next time..  
> And If you like this give it a kudos!


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